I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
