sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
