I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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