What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
