Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
