Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
