East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Someone came in the potted fern
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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