My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
