Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
