Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
