WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize