So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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