but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
