You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
