Need sex. Gaining weight.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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