it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
that is very illegal...i love you.
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