do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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