I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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