Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
