there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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