Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
