bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Randomize
