so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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