question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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