My brain says no but my pants say off.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
