Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
