If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize