Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
