found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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