she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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