Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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