Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
