Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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