so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
