you guys were way drunker than both of me
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
