I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
