I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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