Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
