Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
