Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
