so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
