it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
