He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
