yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
