TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
