'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize