Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
