Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
