If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
