my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
