so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
