I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
