OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
The power of my boobs compel you
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
