How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
