We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
