he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
