I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
